I was talking with some friends (and fellow mums) the other weekend while camping, and we were all lamenting about what a hot mess we had been that morning. It had been a crazy start for all of us, trying to get kids ready, pack the car, and get out of the house on time for the trip. One of the women, a new friend I haven’t known for long, looked at me and said, “Oh, come on – you just seem like you have it all together.”
I had to laugh. But then I thought – of course she thinks I seem like I have it all together. I write a blog. When you blog, people get the impression that you’ve got an amazing life, that your kids are always smiling and well-behaved, that you never lose your cool, that you’re happily juggling a dozen balls, and none of them ever falls to the ground.
I’m here to set the record straight – I do NOT have it all together. Chatting with all these beautiful, with-it moms who are bringing up wonderful, happy, LOVED children, I realized that I’m spinning a myth, and it’s a disservice to all the wonderful mothers out there who might read my blog.
Just this week alone, I have dozens of examples of how I do NOT have it all together. The other day, Claire drew all over her face (and Heidi’s) with green hi-lighter marker. This morning, the girls were fighting over a book, and I growled at Claire and sent her to her room. (And on her way up the stairs, she told me that I’m the worst mommy ever.) The other day Heidi was being a tantrum-y two year old, and refused to let me dress her, so I plunked her down and pulled a dress over her head while she cried in protest. Another day I was trying to braid Heidi’s hair, but I only got halfway before she lost her patience and started running around. It was only the fear of judgement that got me to hastily finish her braids the next morning before school. Speaking of school, I drop Claire off late EVERY DAMN DAY.
I could go on. And on. And on and on and on….. So if you have ever read my blog and wondered how I do it all, just know that behind all those smiling photos of my kids baking cookies, or doing crafts, or going on camping trips, is a harried, sleep-deprived mommy who does NOT have it all together. I try really hard, but each day there’s always something that wasn’t done, wasn’t good, wasn’t enough. And it’s okay. My kids are healthy. They’re happy. They’re loved. And I am just doing my best. But thanks for thinking that I have it all together… 🙂